think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
