I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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