Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
