We won't sleep together?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
