This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
