That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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