I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
