Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
