headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
