So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
