If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
