My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
