So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
