OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize