You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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