thus making me awesome and them whores
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
