some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
