Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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