She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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