I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
