Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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