Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
