Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
