i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
