Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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