Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
