I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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