The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
