No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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