Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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