I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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