Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
