Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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