It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
