Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
