I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
