ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
