I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
