So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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