would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
