so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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