i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
