what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
