If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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