so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
