then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
