You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
