When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
