Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We're like a lot better than the average bears
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
