Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
