just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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