I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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