Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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