you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
