thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My cat gives me a boner
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
