That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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