the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
