Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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