playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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