my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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