Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
