Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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