(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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