problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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