my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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