i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
