Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
